i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
