someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
