i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
