so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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