every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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