This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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