I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
