How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
