the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
