I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize