carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
