She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
