So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize