Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
