it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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