The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
