i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
