I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize