My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
