Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
