ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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