I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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