i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
