Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
