After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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