whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
