Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
