P.S. I can't hear my feet
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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