Screwed.edu
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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