Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
