He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
