laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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