You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
