I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize