Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My vagina is officially offended.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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