how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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