I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
