sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
