I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
