remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
