those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
