dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
