yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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