Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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