You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
