I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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