Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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