I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
