$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
