No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
handjob tips. give me some.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
