I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
