y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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