So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
