Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
