Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
