Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
