One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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